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Who We Are

This is a place for those of us with a liberal bent, who happen to be military spouses, partners, and significant others. We may not always agree, but we are here to listen to each other. We may argue, but we listen! Discussions won’t always be military related, but the truth is, we ARE attached to the military, so most will!

We represent families from the Army, Navy, Air Force & Marines, both active duty and reserve. We’d be happy to welcome Coasties, too – anyone else with that little something that says “I’m not one of the crowd”.

Let’s introduce you to The Crew —

LAW — Liberal Army Wife, formerly an Army Mom. I’m one of the “old broads”, been Army since we got off the ark with Noah. Presently in the middle of the 3rd deployment in the last 8 years with my husband of 31 years, and got through an Iraq deployment of our son. I’m the very proud grandmother of the cutest 3 year old on the planet! I blog regularly at PLibArmyWife!

NeverApartInHeart — I am a newlywed, who’s funny and crazy husband just happens to be in the Navy. He’s doing the recruiting thing in our hometown right now, but we have the first big “family move” looming on the horizon. We dont know what the future holds for us or where it will take us, but life sure will be interesting. I am a regular down to earth goofy girl that likes to talk about anything from politics and equal rights to sports to girly stuff. Nothing is off limits. To read more random stuff head on over to my blog at Never Apart In Heart.

Snarky Navy Wife — I’m an author, student, feminazi, dirt-worshiping tree hugger, once-upon-a-time engineer, questionable mother, and uppity gal with a gnarly case of sailor mouth I contracted as a midshipman. When the Navy pulls its usual, I vent about it at Snarky Navy Wife.

JP — I’m enjoying life in California with my awesome Navy man. We’ve been through two deployments and are gearing up for a third. Despite military life ups and downs, I’m content with wherever life takes me. Wherever it is, that’s where I should be. I love laughing, traveling, cooking, reading a good book, checking my Gmail and taking on new adventures.

Rae (formerly Tucker) — I’m the wife of a particularly wonderful retired Army Infantryman. While we are no longer tied to the military like we used to be, it is still very much a part of our life. I likely won’t be posting super often here but when I do it will probably be retirement related. And trust me, its a whole different world out here.

52 Comments leave one →
  1. Kristy permalink
    June 17, 2009 1:22 pm

    Hi All,

    My name is Kristy Kaufmann, I’m the Army wife who wrote the op-ed in the Washington Post, “Army Families Under Fire” 5/11/09.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/05/03/AR2009050301850.html

    Since the article ran, I’ve been in contact with the White House, the Secretary of the Army, the office of the Sec. of Defense, Army family program directors and some congressmen and senators. It’s taken me 8 years and an op-ed to get in the room and I’m doing everything I possibly can use this “voice” to inject some urgency and reality into these conversations. I am completely unaffiliated and my only agenda is to speak for the many who have no voice and hold our leaders (civilian and military) accountable for doing what they say they are going to do (and doing it effectively).

    We (military families) need smart people like you at the ground level who are unafraid to speak honestly and help provide solutions. I wouldn’t have taken the risk to write the article if I didn’t think it could affect significant change, but I’m just one person. I need to hear from others that are “in the trenches”; ours is the voice that has been missing from the conversations where decisions are being made. I have a direct line to the top right now, let’s use this opportunity!

    Here are a couple of questions I’ve been asked by non-profits who want to help military families, they want input from the ground level. Please feel free to post them on Left Face, people can also respond directly to me at kkaufmanncool@gmail.com. I will keep all responses anonymous. I’m using “soldier” to represent all military members, regardless of branch.

    1. What are the biggest problems facing soldiers (and their families) returning
    from deployment?

    2. What could be done to address these problems?

    3. Does the current military family support system work? If not, why?

    4. How can veteran’s service organizations help military families?

    5. If you had all the power in the world, what would you do to support soldiers
    and military families?

    Thanks!
    Kristy

  2. July 1, 2009 11:14 am

    i’m so glad to find this blog!

    i’m new to all things military … never ever imagined i’d be married to it!

    and now, my husband is a fighter pilot in the air force and is deploying for four months in two weeks, just six weeks after our first baby was born…

  3. July 13, 2009 4:01 pm

    Just found your blog and I’m glad I did. I am a semi crunchy, left leaning, mom to four. My husband is just starting the process of joining the Navy. I know nothing at all about military life and look forward to reading all I can. Its a bit overwhelming. lol

  4. Cate permalink
    September 13, 2009 12:50 am

    This website is so refreshing! My boyfriend (I know, I know, I’m not a spouse BUT to our credit, we have been together four years, survived many months apart due to training and will most likely get married at some point 🙂 ) is an Army officer and just left for his first deployment (to Iraq) two days ago. I’ve been a feminist liberal my whole life. I work at a pro-choice nonprofit in Seattle. This, as you might imagine, doesn’t quite fit in with Army life (as in, I can’t actually tell anyone what I do without getting a significant look as if I’m a leper or something). So it’s great to know that there are other lefties out there in the military world! Thanks for putting your opinions out there so I know I’m not alone!

    • September 17, 2009 10:40 am

      Cate! It’s so nice to meet another feminist liberal from Seattle who is attached to the military. That’s where I’m from 🙂 Glad you found us!!!!

  5. September 16, 2009 10:23 am

    I’m glad you found us, Cate! And never apologize for not being a spouse. 🙂

  6. Jacque permalink
    October 19, 2009 10:24 am

    Hi Laidies! I’m a new a mom and as my husband heads off to boot camp I’m gearing up to become a Navy wife. Gulp! Terrified a little, excited mostly, in way over my head…probably. Even though I may be completely lost and confused on this journey it’s nice to know that there are women out there just like me. Thanks for being you!

  7. mackenzie permalink
    January 4, 2010 5:22 pm

    no coastie wives on here huh? or am i just not seeing them??? :O(

  8. Laya permalink
    January 23, 2010 11:54 pm

    I wish I could high-five all of you. There have been so many times in my relationship that I’ve felt completely alone for my political opinions (or even my ways of approaching a situation) and it’s good to see that I’m not. Our circumstances alone have marked us as being different from most other couples I know: it’s not often that you see a Unitarian Universalist (him) and a Liberation Theology following Catholic (me) together. I know that other military girlfriends/fiances/spouses mean well, but it can still be pretty lonely for not jumping onto the bandwagon regarding everything about the military.

    I’ll definitely be reading this consistently!

    • January 28, 2010 10:09 pm

      Welcome Laya and here’s your high five!

    • LAW permalink
      January 29, 2010 8:40 am

      Hi Laya! high five here too. nice to meet you. our bandwagon here.. well it goes this way, that way and sometimes just sits and contemplates its own navel.

      LAW

  9. Sara G. permalink
    January 28, 2010 12:53 pm

    Wow! I am so glad I stumbled upon this blog. I am a Bay Area liberal who never in my life thought I would marry a conservative Navy man…but I did just this last summer. 🙂 He is in the reserves and is gearing up to leave for his third, and my first, deployment this weekend (yikes!). Because I don’t live in one of those parts of the country where everyone seems to know someone who is or has been deployed, it’s been difficult to process all that is happening. My friends and family have been wonderful and supportive, but they don’t really “get it” having no experience themselves with this sort of thing. To top it all off my husband has a 4 year-old son who has lived with us almost 50% of the time since we have been together. His mother isn’t supportive of my relationship with him and so I don’t get to have any time with him this next year except to tag along when my husband’s parents get to see him just 2 times a month. This has been the most heart-wrenching part of this experience. Anyway, I am rambling on but I just wanted to say thank you for writing about this and posting all these articles. It’s always a good feeling when you know you aren’t alone. I added you to my reader!

    • January 28, 2010 10:11 pm

      Welcome Sara – we’ve all been there, so we’ll be here as you go through this deployment. Big breaths!

    • LAW permalink
      January 29, 2010 8:40 am

      big breath, like LM said. and whenever you need to vent/scream/ramble, let us know. we love “guest authors” as well!

  10. March 11, 2010 9:40 pm

    Hi LAW and all of the other wives,

    Thanks for inviting me to check out your blog! (I’m the liberal Marine wife who commented on Just Another Snarky Navy Wife’s blog.)

    I don’t really do much blogging myself (although I enjoy following them), but I think this blog could be a support for me as I wade through my husband’s career in the military. We got married this past summer just as he was starting his career in the Marines, so it’s all still new for me.

  11. Elizabeth permalink
    March 25, 2010 7:37 am

    I am so happy I found this blog! I am definitely not your “typical” Army wife. I am a social worker and very liberal. I tend to be very passionate about things that are near and dear to my heart, such as advocacy social justice, equality, and just general compasion/empathy for everyone! I have caught a lot of flack when voicing my opinion (especially lately, with the healthcare reform going on). But I also get a lot of positive response from people thanking me for giving them a voice, when sometimes they are able to do it for themselves. I wonder sometimes if I kept my mouth shut and were a more “perfect” wife in the FRG, I would have more friends in unit wives. I just will never be that person or that Army wife! Luckily my husband loves me just the way I am, all liberal and opinionated 😉
    Thank you for speaking out and reminding me that Army wifes do not just be seen and not heard. And for showing me that there are other wives that aren’t mindless drones! I love your perspective and so enjoy you blog. 🙂

  12. April 10, 2010 11:18 pm

    I can’t even begin to say how happy I am at finding LeftFace!!! After posting on my own blog (http://snazzified.tumblr.com/post/504651303/life-as-a-military-spouse), another wife told me about LeftFace, and boy am I glad she did! I’m a new wife (husband is in the AF) and am currently living in MA while my husband is in TX. I’ll be moving out there in two months and have been getting a little antsy about whether I’d meet any like-minded folk. At the very least now I can now say there is a community that I can visit online, a liberal oasis among the dozens of conservative, Evangelical military wife forums out there (not that that’s bad, but it’s just not my cup of tea).

  13. Tammy permalink
    April 11, 2010 10:14 pm

    Glad you discovered Left Face. I read your entry you linked to here. Your experience with BTDT military wives makes me so angry. Today is my 12th anniversary plus 3 1/2 years dating prior to that (long enough not to mind that my husband is at work on a Sunday night because I know I’m fortunate he’s not deployed), so yeh, I’ve been there, done that…and for that reason, hope I can offer support to new spouses. Gentle advice when warranted but more often than not, just someone to gripe to who understands. Holier than thou types drive me insane! Hope this site gives you some balance.

  14. May 18, 2010 12:50 am

    Well…I have to say that I really do like this site. AND I am as far right to your left! However, I always like to see things in the middle. Honestly, I’m a big fan. Although, the views on this site is the complete opposite of what I might be thinking…it gets me thinking. So, that’a a bonus..right? And, no I’m not holier than thou, but I can pretend to be 😉

  15. Crystle permalink
    June 9, 2010 8:48 pm

    I’m so glad I found this site! I have taken a lot of criticism for being liberal from my USMC spouse counterparts. I’m always respectful of other’s views but somehow “bashing” a liberal military spouse has become welcomed amongst the bases. It is so good to know I am not alone!!!

  16. June 11, 2010 6:49 pm

    Hell yeah baby!

  17. Crystle permalink
    June 15, 2010 7:26 pm

    I love this blog but feel it’s missing something…Wish you had a Marine Corps wife contributor! Love the Navy (Dad is a retired Senior Chief) and the Army(Uncle is a retired Lt. Colonel), but feeling a little unrepresented:( Believe it or not…there are some liberal Marine Corps wives (however few of us admit it!)

  18. Tracy permalink
    July 20, 2010 4:01 pm

    I just found this blog while searching for the latest backlash regarding the latest MyCAA debacle. It’s nice to know there are some spouses out there like me–I feel pretty isolated in a sea of conservatism in my housing area(my “I love Oregon” sticker on the Subaru scares the neighbors). I don’t see any Air Force representation here, that’s my only complaint.

    Tucker, I found this site via your blog, and I just want to say that I share your career pain–I’m a laboratory scientist who had a great career until our last move.

    • December 11, 2013 2:50 pm

      Solidarity, my friend. I LOVE the look on people’s faces when I tell them I’m from Portland as I set down my bag with all the gay rights/women’s rights/environmental buttons all over it.

  19. L.A. permalink
    July 21, 2010 6:09 pm

    I’m not liberal by any stretch of the imagination (well…maybe kind of moderate on social issues but definitely fiscally conservative) but I have found so many of my own rants reflected in the postings here that I only wish I had found this blog ages and ages ago. As a navy wife who geobatched for three years only to have the Navy tell me Norfolk was close enough for his shore tour (I was in DC…working as a DOD civilian) and then ship him off to Iraq for a year anyway, I am so glad to find a space that doesn’t cater to the “be a good milspouse” propaganda. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  20. Anne Marie (Military Martha) permalink
    July 25, 2010 9:06 am

    Brilliant idea! So often I feel like the redheaded stepchild in a sea of conservatives. Thank you ladies — and give me a shout out if you ever need an Air Force wife, nestled in the deep south. Roll Tide!

  21. September 17, 2010 9:34 am

    I was sent a link to this blog via facebook. I am SO glad I checked it out. Like others have mentioned, I often feel like an odd-man out. We are Air Force. I find it so reassuring to know that there are other’s out there like me, because like everyone else has said, I feel like the odd man out (I’ve told my husband on many occasions that I feel like I’m “in the closet, politically-speaking”).

  22. October 14, 2010 6:09 pm

    Any plans to add an Air Force wife to the mix? I could use a role model!

  23. November 5, 2010 2:33 am

    Omg. I have a confession to make. I’m not liberal. *gasp* But I’ve noticed the other side of the pancake is just as flat and cool people are cool people no matter what poltical ideals they have. So I hope y’all will keep talking to me even though I am a conservative. 🙂 I guess I fall in with the “not really one of the crowd” group huh? LOL TTYL and I’ll see y’all around kk? 🙂

  24. December 7, 2010 3:10 pm

    I too am happy to find this blog. I wanted to offer as free reading material for military members, spouses, and those in rehab a website that takes place during the time of our most skilled progressive president, FDR. It is the story of a young farm wife and her husband and son surviving black dust storms and the worst economic crash of our country’s history.

    It’s a quick way for busy people to enter a different world, read a few episodes, and then leave to return again. It’s also a way to “send” a free book to a soldier overseas. I’m a college professor in California, and Horton Foote, the screenplay writer of To Kill a Mockingbird, supported my work, so his society built a website for what I wrote.

    Everyone is invited. Thanks for the work you do here.

  25. Liberal AF Spouse permalink
    January 25, 2011 11:47 am

    Greetings, this blog was a nice find this morning! I married a senior AF officer three years ago and have spent the past year on my first base; I kept my views to myself until I accidentally discovered a liberal neighbor (now we share privately!). I used to work in Democratic politics and when military folks find out…I like to joke that they “come out” to me – as liberals or Dems, that is! (DADT isn’t repealed just yet.)

    Hopefully you’ll be pleasantly surprised to know that there are a lot more Dems among active duty military and their spouses than many would have thought – including general officers! Blue Star Families for Obama has since turned into a non-partisan group, but that was my first experience with finding military spouses who were simpatico.

    There is hope for us!

  26. Just a Girl in a Port permalink
    March 16, 2011 1:50 am

    I’m a liberal leaning Coastie wife and would love to contribute to your blog.

    • libarmywife permalink
      March 16, 2011 7:01 pm

      wonderful! I’ll be in touch by email.

  27. Just a Girl in a Port permalink
    March 16, 2011 11:29 pm

    Sounds divine. I will keep an eye out!

  28. Anita permalink
    April 3, 2011 9:13 am

    Love this blog 🙂

  29. Tamzyn permalink
    May 3, 2011 2:26 pm

    Hi 🙂 I have been married to my husband for 4 years now. He is now in AFROTC and will commission next year but he was active duty for 10 years before that so I’m not new to military life! I’m from England (my husband was stationed over there which is how we met) and I have found that I have never really fit in with military life … I’m very liberal, agnostic and not American! lol .. needless to say I’ve found myself feeling quite isolated from other spouses. We have been stationed on 2 different bases and I have only met 2 others who share my views on things. Luckily, my husband is as liberal as me so at least I cant talk to him about things .. but he hides his views from others (and will def have to once he’s an officer) however I have very strong convictions and my tongue will slip up sometimes! lol. Anyways .. It’s nice to know that there are other people out there and I’m not all alone!! 🙂

    • Tamzyn permalink
      May 3, 2011 2:27 pm

      Woops .. I meant that I can talk to him about things!!

  30. ArmyWife54!!! permalink
    February 18, 2012 11:16 pm

    I recently discovered this website while writing a paper for my college courses. I have found that most all of us “Army Wives” go through so much and that many of the things we encounter are the same! I hope that You all wont mind I did use some of the “DADT” post for one of my papers! I have enjoyed reading…

  31. Mary permalink
    March 10, 2012 9:58 am

    Ladies,

    Just a huge, awesome, grateful, hug sent to all of you for making me feel less alone in this. My husband has always been a history buff with a concentration on military history, and has (with my support) decided to join the Army.
    Until I found your site, I was convinced that I would be alone in my (our) left-leaning, rights for everyone, Agnostic views. Especially after meeting my husbands recruiter and her suggestion that I become involved by “possibly having a bake sale to make friends on the new base.” I’m sure she didn’t mean to enrage me, but I’m much more concerned about having the love of my life come home broken from PTSD, or having him not come home at all.
    I thank you for speaking out with your opinion and helping those of us that are new to this uncharted land. I am absolutely terrified but know that knowledge and patience will see us through. Thanks for making it a bit easier.
    -Mary

  32. SarahR permalink
    June 21, 2012 2:25 am

    I just found this blog, and it’s the first milspouse blog/forum/page that I have really found I can relate to – because it’s not the same ol’ moto, we-are-the-silent-ranks, hardest-job-in-the-military type stuff. You address real issues and aren’t afraid to call the military out on their shit. Being married to my best buddy in the Navy has really made me learn to hate a lot of things about the Navy, but I always feel pressured to have this Everything Is Just Fine facade when speaking about the military to others, in fear that I will be deemed not supportive or unappreciative of my husband.
    I am also a liberal feminist hope-to-soon-be social worker (if I can ever get my husband’s GI Bill to pay for graduate school) so the left-leaning material on here really suits my style. I find it hard to relate to the milspouse lifestyle because of how overly sexist, traditional, and conservative it seems to be, and how I am always asked about my *husband* instead of myself, as if I cannot have my own identity or life outside of him. It kind of bothers me a lot that people have these expectations of how I should be, how I should feel and act, before they even know me, simply based on my husband’s job…. OK now I’m just ranting. :-p

    What I meant to say by writing this is that I stayed up til 3:30AM reading various posts in this blog and I really love it! Bookmarking for sure…keep up the great work! 🙂

    -Sarah

  33. September 6, 2012 5:43 pm

    Hello one and all,
    First let me say I’m absolutely thrilled by all of your posts on both this site and your individual blogs (although for you all using blogger instead of wordpress- y’all make me work a bit harder!) It’s been a joy to read and relate to your struggles.

    Now, even with my extensive military family background (There are 18 of them in all- sometimes I’m not sure if what they come up with is military or just them), I still like to ask others how they handle certain events. Recently, I have asked my navy sisters, who co-write the blog Buoyed Up here on wordpress, and the rest of our Navy PIR group about how they handle people soliciting donations for the troops. I would love to hear how you ladies deal with being asked to join in a campaign, or being randomly stopped and solicited.

  34. Melissa permalink
    April 14, 2013 8:07 pm

    Hello all! It such a joy to find this blog. I’ve been floating around in the Navy life as a liberal/writer/beloved spouse to a nuke mm (my best friend) for almost three years now, and it’s been lonely.

    I haven't looked around fully yet, but I wanted to ask a question/for advice. Both my husband and I are very liberal, and lately, since we live apart (and across country due to the Navy) as I'm going to graduate school/he's deploying soon, my husband is having a hard time living on the ship since nobody really shares his views politically/racially and it's getting to him. What can I do to support my husband? I email him every day when they go underway, I make time to talk to him (stay home on weekends when he's free/cancel my plans), and make sure to say things that are positive and recommend books for him to read (so he doesn't feel alone), but one of his best friends was recently discharged (for no good reason and a long story), so now my hubby is feeling a kind of isolation that I don't know how to help him with. It's tearing me apart because he's leaving soon.

    Sorry, this was kind of a vent! I'm just really happy to find a place like this. ~ Melissa

    • December 11, 2013 3:21 pm

      Melissa–I am also a liberal and a writer who is a spouse to a nuke mm, and we’ve also been in 3 years! What are the odds!?!?

      Nukes are in a weird class. You’re actually more likely to find other liberal, free-thinking people and their spouses if you’re a nuke. I’ve come to the conclusion that this is because they need people who are ridiculously smart, and in order to get them to actually perform to their utmost under such incredible pressure and awful working conditions, they have to give them a certain amount of leeway. My husband doesn’t have to worry as much as a lot of the other rates about stuff like his uniform being 100% sat all the time, and a lot of the other Navy bullshit that gets pulled to keep people in their place. They are usually nerds and nerds are usually rational thinkers, and therefore you meet a lot of nukes who are non-religious, who are educated, who are liberal thinkers and who are quite fun.

      That said, it’s also insanely hard work and their rates of depression and suicide are stupidly high. The fact that your husband even made it through power school and prototype to GET to a ship shows he’s pretty tough. If he’s on a carrier vs. a submarine, that will make it a little better for him. Deployments on a carrier are manageable and a lot of them come back having had serious fun seeing the world. It’s always very hard when their friends leave, especially when they’re not easy to find (and if he’s running into racial discrimination, I imagine they are not), but usually someone else will come along and things will get better, even if it doesn’t seem like it. Also, if he’s on the Roosevelt (which I mention because you were talking about underways, which they’re doing right now), I have a friend on it and he says it’s way worse than the other carriers–the people suck, the schedules suck, they screw up all the time and it’s super depressing. So if that’s the problem, he might end up doing a lot better when his sea time is up and he has the opportunity to go to a shore command or even to transfer to another ship.

      Everything that you are doing to support him is wonderful. In some ways, living apart right now might actually be easier on you both, because when you live together the military member will often feel obliged to spend as much time with you as possible and to help you with all the day-to-day stresses of your life, when in actuality your husband probably isn’t able to do all of that as much as he wants to and the stress of it can weigh on your relationship. It can actually be harder to have him there-but-not-really-there than to have him just GONE and have to write emails and whatnot. If you’re giving him support and love then even if you can’t make his hardships go away, you’re still helping and letting him know that at the end of his time dealing with all the bullshit, he’ll have a place to go that is welcoming and loving. Nukes with spouses almost always do better, statistically. There is a reason the Navy is willing to pay for so much of your support–they need you because they know your husband needs you. Keep on keeping on. Maybe send him packages if you can, these kids never get enough surprises or gifts.

      Take care of yourself. And good for you for going to grad school. I never made it that far and I’m always impressed with people who do.

  35. August 29, 2013 2:40 pm

    I discovered your blog recently and look forward to reading along. Air Force Brat and now Navy Wife in San Diego. Refreshing to a military spouse blog with substance behind its content! Thank you!

  36. aolguin permalink
    October 28, 2013 1:19 pm

    I am not yet a spouse but I am so glad I came across other like minded ladies and I’m looking forward to learning and sharing! My boyfriend is Air Force and will soon be reenlisting. I’m getting anxious about the possibility of marriage, PCSing and adopting this lifestyle I know little about all within the coming year. My views on marriage have had to change quite a bit since meeting my boyfriend and despite my independent nature I am terrified to eventually be leaving behind a wonderful group of friends, fantastic career, and the place that’s been home for 26 years.

  37. December 11, 2013 2:48 pm

    I am SO happy to have found this blog! As a Navy spouse I’ve found I could really do with some support and community, but most of the military spouse blogs out there are the opposite of helpful. I’m a tree-hugging left-wing hippie from Portland, Oregon and married myself a Navy nuke, and I’ll tell you–it’s a weird position. Strangest thing…you don’t fit in real well if you have blue hair, aren’t religious, recycle, and refuse to talk shit about President Obama as part of small talk. I will definitely be back to read more.

  38. February 19, 2015 1:47 am

    Hello all!
    I’m a newlywed, dancing, singing, former showgirl, and biology nerd. I am a CA hippie, moderately left, and I just married my dream man in May…..who happens to be an officer in the USMC.
    So happy to have found this site, because arguing, political or otherwise, has never been my strong suit. It’s lovely to read all of the support…makes me not feel like I’m crazy! 🙂

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