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Cross-Posted: Mah buttonz. I haz them!

November 13, 2010

Last week, there was a wee row at my personal blog because someone pushed one of my buttons. I thought it was an obvious button, but discussions since then have led me to believe that not everyone knows what my buttons are. That’s pretty incredible because, well, I have LOTS of them. And they’re huge. And there are neon signs pointing at them. No really.

I listed my buttons and found a lot of folks piping up to offer others and to share in those I’d listed. Here’s what I came up with, followed by some left in comments that I also share.

  • Wear your husband’s/wife’s rank.
  • Say that this is an all-volunteer military, we knew what we were getting into, and we have no right to complain.
  • Then turn around and bitch about your job, your kids, your car, your house, or any other decision you’ve made.
  • Say that we military folk have GREAT benefits.
  • Say that those GREAT benefits more than make up for any sacrifice we have to deal with.
  • Assume that, as a milspouse, my only career aspirations should involve a toilet brush and a spatula.
  • Assume that, as a milspouse, my only job options need to be low-paying with few career options.
  • Assume that we’re conservative and tell me how lunatic the “bleeding-heart” liberals and evil progressives are.
  • Quote those fuckburgers Limbaugh, Beck, Palin…actually, anyone from Faux News…as if you buy their bullshit. Actually, just quoting them usually spools me, even if we’re both agreeing they’re a bunch of fucking tools.
  • Avoid logic when you’re debating with me.
  • Tell me military Pagans don’t have the right to practice their beliefs.
  • Make sweeping generalizations about Muslims as if they’re all terrorists. Assume anyone with brown skin is a Muslim and therefore a terrorist.
  • Say a Navy deployment isn’t really a deployment. Especially when your darling service member was in the Army/Air Force before 9/11 and therefore took a Cold War-length vacay from deployment scheds.
  • Extol the virtues of milbrat-dom.
  • Tell any milspouse that it’s her fucking [unpaid] job to support the military, the command, other milspouses, etc.
  • Assume my life, like my husband’s, revolves around the military and that I have no life outside of my tenuous association with the military.
  • Assume I’m conservative, Christian, straight, and traditional.

Add your own buttonz in comments here.

8 Comments leave one →
  1. November 14, 2010 1:45 am

    Phew…I think you just about covered them! And that Navy thing has always irked me too! Oh, can I be a bleeding heart conservative? Because I am very conservative but do not enjoy reading, hearing or seeing anything about Limbaugh, Palin and Beck…

    However, I would like to see what other people have to say!

  2. November 14, 2010 5:31 am

    My main gripes are also listed as yours, thanks for posting this. Maybe if we posted more things like this, others will drop the stereotype. Well, we can hope.

  3. oregonbean permalink
    November 14, 2010 4:33 pm

    How about this one: assume that I am a milspouse because I want to spend a man’s money whilst eating bon-bons all day, and have no desire of being educated or employed.

    Yeah, I have engaged in several “conversations” on other sites where numerous men have told me that most women (in their experience) marry military guys for their money and the benefits, and so they don’t have to work for a living. I can’t recall any other time I so wanted the ability to grab people by the throat through my computer monitor.

    I thoroughly enjoyed the education Mrs. Suck-it-up-I’m an old pro(two years/no deployments) received. What a wake up call she’s in for when her head hits the pavement after her imaginaryland cloud evaporates.

  4. TammyJ permalink
    November 14, 2010 9:46 pm

    One of my buttons is when people think all was right in the world pre-9/11. When an attack on the Saudi National Guard in 1995 killed 5 Americans my husband was deployed to Saudi Arabia. My AF husband was deployed to Saudi Arabia when the Khobar Towers attack killed 19 airmen in 1996. My husband was safe but I later had the honor of knowing one of the survivors (he sought me out after learning my brother had surived the Cole attack). My husband deployed (only in those days we called it TDY) quite frequently to the Middle East in those pre 9/11 days. The year prior to our wedding he was gone 10 out of 12 months.
    Some of my Army spouse friends I knew while in Germany had husbands “forward deployed” to the Balkan region and others had husbands who did the one year unaccomponied tours to Korea.
    I’m not trying to have a pissing competition with you (brother is Navy and I know what his family puts up with), nor trying to compare the current level of violence and deployment to those days, I’m just saying it wasn’t all roses and rainbows for the rest of us pre-9/11 either.

    • snarkynavywife permalink*
      November 14, 2010 10:34 pm

      Fair button. I certainly don’t assume there were never deployments for the Army and Air Force pre-9/11. My button here is someone affiliated with the Army/Air Force telling us that our deployments aren’t *real* deployments, especially when they were one of the many who rarely if ever deployed prior to 9/11. In other words, making it sound like what the Navy has is all roses and rainbows compared to the Army and Air Force, when sailors have had regular and often significant deployment schedules since WWII (especially when we’re talking aircraft carrier, which is under the direct command of the president and is deployed at what seems like the slightest whim). I think that’s a fair button. But I’m biased.

      • TammyJ permalink
        November 14, 2010 10:55 pm

        Completely fair button when someone tries to tell you a Navy deployment isn’t a “real” deployment. That pisses me off too. My point was just that many in the AF were not tucked safely in their beds at home either pre 9/11, at least not the airmen I knew and at least not after 1990.

        • snarkynavywife permalink*
          November 15, 2010 12:26 am

          Has anyone in the military, prior to retirement, ever been tucked safely in their beds? I doubt that.

          I understand the button. It sucks being lumped in with the majority. Generalizations are the devil. I’ll be sure to caveat my button response on this in the future to exclude the obvious expeditionary type exception, even though I’ve never had an expeditionary type or spouse wank at me about the cushy deployment schedule we deal with.

  5. Island Mom permalink
    November 15, 2010 1:51 am

    Assuming that because I’m a milspouse and protestant, that I must be the conservative brand of Christian. I’m definitely NOT.

    On the flip side of that, assuming that I don’t support the troops because I’m liberal. I married a troop. Like h*ll I don’t support them!

    This one cropped up a lot during the last presidential election: assuming that *all* military members want one particular candidate in office, simply because you know one or two voting for that candidate. This bugged me on either side. Because clearly all military members must agree with each other, 100%, all the time.

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