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Counselors – been to one?

August 11, 2010

I’m interested in hearing from our readers – have you ever used one of the counselors provided by either TriCare, Military OneSource, ACS – any of them? I had a lousy experience, during the Guard deployment, and spent most of my time explaining what the military is like, what deployment is like, translating terms! It drove me nuts, didn’t help much either…. I’ve heard other stories, but I really want to know what YOU guys have experienced.


7 Comments leave one →
  1. August 11, 2010 9:00 am

    I haven’t used one for myself because the one we were sent to for our son was much like you described. No concept really of military life AT ALL, and not really willing to go beyond her textbooks. Of course that’s what happens when the nearest military installation is over an hour away. I guess counselors closer to military facilities may have a better knowledge of military life, but our reserve component families don’t generally live near these places.

  2. Kitty English permalink
    August 11, 2010 9:12 am

    Just before our husbands came back from the last deployment, these counsellors turned up at the last FRG meeting and within the space of 2 minutes, it became clear they hadn’t a clue about the military (but you couldn’t tell them that!).

    This woman had this powerpoint presentation about all the emotions were were supposed to be feeling written on and was like ‘Does anybody feel this? Come on, raise your hands if you do!!!’

    Guess noone told her about the unspoken taboos when it comes to showing any kind of negative emotion publicly in the military community unless it’s anger…

    The sessions they did in the schools were even worse I hear (one of my best friends is a teacher at the local school).

  3. August 11, 2010 10:09 am

    I have used a counselor through OneSource. There is such a high volume of military around here even the civilian populous can’t help but know the basics about military life. We weren’t stuck or stalling in our therapy to explain mil-terms or anything like that. I wasn’t very confident in the therapist… I think that’s because I just had very HIGH expectations but either way it’s seemed to help the hubs and I turn a corner.

    I know that if you get a therapist that doesn’t work out you can have up to 3 visits and request a change with OneSource.

  4. August 11, 2010 11:31 am

    The hubbs and I used counseling from MilOneSource as well. I think that it did help us. Our counselor didn’t know a ton about military, but enough. But the issues we were discussing were more about us, rather than military issues. So we didn’t have that problem.

    However, I also feel that what we got out of our counseling sessions was because of the work we both put in. Rather, than the advice we got from the counselor.

    Just my 2 cents!

    ETA: We didnt live near a big military installation either, we were stationed in the Detroit area when he was recruiting. So there isnt much knowledge of military there either.

  5. Wishful Bohemian permalink
    August 11, 2010 11:49 am

    You mean you can actually GET an appointment with a counselor?? Over here (in Germany) you can bang on their door (literally) and they’ll still tell you to come back later because they’re backlogged with soldiers. I guess that’s why this garrison has had 2 spousal suicides in the past 9 months. Grr. This is a sore subject, sorry.

  6. August 11, 2010 5:34 pm

    I have spent hours educating the paid professionals about the realities of being a military spouse. The Army would like for me to keep doing that for free, or, better yet, just go away. while they pay others with no experience to learn from me. Nuhuh. Not any more. Most of what helped me – I got outside of the office. I had to create my own path. My counseor had no idea what my life was like, no concept of being a military spouse in a time of war. Fck ’em. I had to find my own way home – they are clue less. And when I called the Military OneSource hotline, after my girlfriend’s husband choked her, and they tell me (while the voice on the phone cries) that they can’t help her unles she files a formal complaint and that they get these calls all of the time, and don’t know what to do to help the military spouses who are under attack at home, well, sweet jesus in a buggy, it seems clear to me that whatever the fuck is available isn’t right or enough. If America wants these wars, pony up, people, pony up. We will bear the burden and scars for the rest of our lives.

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