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Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell – cont’d

June 3, 2010

The DADT repeal dialogue continues, on both sides of the issue.   Lily Burana, a friend to many of us,  who wrote a wonderful book “I love a Man in Uniform” and who is a tireless advocate for military spouses, wrote an op ed in the LA Times.  Lily brings it to “our” side of the military, to the spouses, the ones who host the lunches, who run the FRGs, who try to support each other during the deployments.  A blogger she quotes in the piece, who quips that acceptance will be final when the domestic partners are welcomed by a bunch of “snobby officers’ wives” may not be all wrong!   Lily jokes about that timeworn attitude…

But we aren’t entirely what this man suggests, blinkered domestic biddies clutching our pearls and our outmoded mannerisms, possessed of no greater largesse or intellectual sophistication than what we leech from our husbands: Inclusiveness? If you say so, dear.

We don’t have to ask, and we will (one hopes) not tell, but in our little world, being gay isn’t exactly a secret.  We all know the “confirmed bachelor” the “haven’t found the right guy/girl yet” who has a room mate, or close friend, that no one is allowed to acknowledge as being so much more than that.  I, for one, cannot imagine not being allowed to acknowledge a person who is so integral to my life.

Lily also said something that rang – like a very clear bell – in my mind, while discussing the opposition from those affectionately called “The Pachyderms”, the senior brass we revere for their past service, but whose opinions sometimes show their disconnect from the present day Army.  (emphasis added)

Yet as much as I acknowledge their right to their position, I won’t refrain from voicing my opposition. My conscience — as a wife, as a patriot, as a freedom-loving American — demands it.

I understand that the repeal is a top-down decision, but until the administration and the brass figure out how best to proceed, I will do what the good Lt. Gen. Mixon suggested and what the DOD requested: I will share my opinion — that the repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell” is less about what we military family members do or don’t want than about what is right. And what is best, in the long run, for our nation’s military.

Another link to the article.

As for me, LAW, I’ll respect anyone’s  right to an opinion, even if I think its wrong, it’s daft, it’s not grounded in anything I recognize as fact; and yes, I’ll be pretty dismissive of the “facts” as seen by those whom I personally feel are not really worried about facts, but have a deep seated, illogical (to me) prejudice for  anyone  who is not  “the same”.     BUT I will NOT stop advocating for the repeal, I will NOT stop letting my voice be heard; because MY conscience demands it too.


4 Comments leave one →
  1. sreysaw permalink
    June 3, 2010 3:25 pm

    Great post! I’ve called my Senators several times to express my desire for repeal. 🙂

  2. June 7, 2010 9:17 pm

    I friggin love Lily.

  3. June 9, 2010 4:37 pm

    Right on, Lily.

    And speaking as an FRG leader w hose FRG has a severe lack of give-a-damn…I say bring on the queers! I need volunteers!

    (Am pansexual and a GLBTQ rights activist anyhow, it’s just there’s that too.)

  4. September 13, 2010 3:01 pm

    The worst thing about this is that we military-affiliated queers are pretty much unable to speak out. I’m a pansexual queer rights person too, and I’m ready to get up in the Pentagon’s FACE! But I can’t do that, because I’m afraid someone will trace it back to my partner in the Army. It’s ridiculous.

    The whole thing is so ridiculous that I’m at a loss as to where to begin, because what are you supposed to do when people support a policy so blatantly dsicriminatory and antiquated? Where do you even start with those people?

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